LK’s Story

Hey, I’m L.K. If you follow the Facebook page, I’m better known as the Artist’s Anxious Elf.

See I’ve been sitting here, for months actually, starting and restarting this story. I want to say something uplifting or inspirational. I want to be someone that can connect to other artists without the well of anxiety springing forth through my fingers. I’m going to be honest. Right now, I’m not inspired. I have ideas and I start them and my own doubts and fears shut me down.

I think I’m here because I really want to take a chance on myself which currently terrifies me. I feel like the challenges I faced becoming an adult, a graduate, a mother have set back my creativity and my nerve. It’s been a long road full of abuses, accidents, and other scares that damaged my body and my mind until I stopped believing I had anything worthwhile to say.

The truth is, my imagination is always running wild. I have a degree in creative writing with a focus in poetry and when I’m writing, I love it. When I’m creating collage art, cutting up magazines and painting, I love it. When I’m brainstorming gift ideas and crafting items for my friends and family, I love it. Loving it doesn’t really seem to be enough for me.

I spend a great deal of time harboring inner hatred and doubt at my endeavors. Very often, these feelings convince me that my inspiration isn’t worthy of my audience. I tell myself that I’m unimaginative and lacking what those I love deserve from me.

Don’t get me wrong. I occasionally beat the inner voice and take chances. When I finally push myself to do more, I feel better, and my lack of creative products definitely inhibits my happiness. I often dwell in my fear and anxiety too long. Even if I decide I should have started on a project, I’ve sometimes missed the deadline by the time I convince myself that I had a worthy idea.

I know I’m not alone out there in the universe of artists. I know I’m not the only person who doubts the merit of her ideas. I’m hoping that by connecting with you all, maybe we’ll find support and inspiration that helps us nurture our unique and wonderful gifts.

We live in a very negatively-charged world. I’m looking for glimmers of positivity in my life. I think that starts with being honest that creating makes me happy. If I can get beyond my anxiety, anger, and fear, I’m really hoping to recover some of the hope and fervor that I used to exhibit.

(By the way, this is me, not deleting this, even though I want to. I hope you’ll all share your stories as well. It’s hard, but none of us are alone, right?)

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While the articles are written to inform, entertain and support those who visit the site, the Anxious Artist is not a licensed medical professional and the information on these pages is not intended to replace regular medical care. Research and testimonials may show promising results with alternative treatments for mental illness, but these should always be discussed with a qualified medical practitioner before being implemented.

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